Self-Talk: The Power of
Words by: Brian
Bartes
One of the most powerful forces affecting the quality of our
lives is the words we use. What words are you using habitually,
and what effect are they having on your life?
I was in Kansas City last weekend, and two experiences there
caused me to think about the incredible power of words that we
use habitually in our lives, and about the effect that those
words have on our behavior and on the results that we create in
our lives.
I played golf Saturday morning, and my brother-in-law and I
played with two people we didn’t know. As we introduced
ourselves, one guy (we’ll call him Steve) said, “I’m a novice
golfer. I’m just out here for the practice.” As we played,
Steve made several disparaging remarks about his level of golf
skill. After hitting one good shot, he stated, “Wow, that’s not
like me at all.”
What effect might more positive language have on his golf
score? Now, this was not Tiger Woods, and Steve will never play
on the PGA Tour. And I’m not suggesting that how he describes
his game will make him a scratch golfer. But, as Earl
Nightingale says, “We become what we think about most of the
time.” As long as Steve tells himself that he is a novice, he
will be. And if he had been thinking “I hit my approach shots
over the water, and onto the green” instead of “Whatever you
do, don’t hit the ball in the water,” then his ball would have
had a much better chance of clearing the water, and landing on
the green.
The second experience occurred as I boarded the plane to go
home. I walked past the first five rows of seats—the first
class section. As I made my way back to the coach section, I
wondered about those people up in first class. I thought about
what they did to achieve the success in life that allowed them
to sit in first class. I was implying that somehow these people
were “first class,” and that every else was “second class.”
This thought lasted just a fraction of a second.
Intellectually, I know that some people in first class earned
their tickets with frequent flyer miles, and one or two may
have been moved up to first class if the flight was full, and
that a couple didn’t pay for their own tickets. But how many
people are going through life thinking of themselves as second
class? And how many people are limiting their potential to be
anything greater than that, because of the way the talk and
think about themselves?
The words that you use in your life are either empowering
you, or disempowering you. This is subtle, and you may not even
realize it. For example, when someone greets you in the
morning, and asks how you’re doing, do you respond “Not bad,”
or “I’m surviving,” or something to that effect? What if you
replied, “I’m outstanding, and I’m getting better and better,”
and you said it with conviction and belief?
This might seem silly to you, and you might dismiss it as
having no impact whatsoever on the results you create in your
life. But, please, trust me on this one. One of the first steps
in creating greater success in your life is to alter the way
you think about yourself, and the words that you use to
describe yourself. Our natural tendency is to want those
results to first be created, and then we’ll start talking and
thinking differently. I request that you begin thinking and
talking differently, as doing so will cause your desired
results to begin to occur.
There’s a classic story often told about three bricklayers,
and the attitudes they had toward their jobs. When asked, “What
are you doing?” the first one responded, “Laying brick.” The
second replied, “Making $17.50 an hour.” The third bricklayer
said, “I’m building the world’s greatest cathedral!”
Although we don’t know for sure what happened to those
bricklayers, I’m guessing that the third bricklayer did not
remain a bricklayer. While the first two were simply performing
their jobs, the vision of the third surely had a favorable
effect on his future success. Each of them used words to
describe their work, and these words became the basis for what
they thought about that work, and ultimately for what they
thought about themselves.
How about you? Are you laying bricks, or building a great
cathedral? What words are you using habitually, and what effect
are they having on your life?
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About The Author
Brian Bartes is a top personal and business
success coach. His bi-weekly newsletter is
filled with strategies that support you in
achieving greater success in your personal and
professional life. Subscribe today at his
website, http://www.lifeexcellence.com.
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