Self Esteem Help

Self-Esteem: Being Your Own Cheerleader
 by: Wendy Betterini

Many of us believe that the only way to feel good about ourselves is to have someone else constantly reaffirm to us that we are good people. The truth is, however, that the act of simply believing in ourselves can be enough to give us the necessary confidence to accomplish the impossible, achieve greatness, and pick ourselves up when we fall. Far too often we rely on others in our lives to provide us with a best friend’s kindness, a child’s love, or a spouse’s support. If we need love and support, the first place we should look is within ourselves.

Being able to love ourselves requires a lot of practice. Overcoming years of negative reinforcement from society is tough to do. However, once you can successfully say you can love yourself, nobody can take it away from you. We must learn to be our own best friend, our own cheerleaders. We need to provide ourselves with the love, kindness, and respect we all deserve and desire. Learning to love ourselves can be an ongoing process as we occasionally fall into the trap of believing we're stupid, worthless, no good, etc.

Following are helpful ideas to use when you need inspiration to cheer yourself on.

First, when challenges arise, we must cheer or root for ourselves as we would for our loved ones if they were facing an obstacle. We wouldn’t want them to falter, so why would we allow the same to happen to ourselves? Cheering ourselves on with supportive thoughts and feelings will give us the continued strength we need to overcome many of life’s unknowns. By repeatedly telling ourselves that we are proud of who we are and what we can accomplish, we receive the encouragement needed to forge ahead in life without fear or reservation. Great things then become possible.

Another way to treat ourselves with love and kindness is to use positive self-talk, and use it often. Our minds must be constantly reinforced with the belief that we have what it takes to achieve what we desire. The resulting outcome will be an optimistic frame of mind that allows us to believe that truly anything is possible. Positive affirmations will produce the same result. Simply write down a statement, such as “I am a beautiful and lovable person.” Repeat your chosen positive affirmations daily until their truth is instilled into your consciousness. In other words, when we believe we are beautiful and lovable, we will be beautiful and lovable.

Unfortunately, being our own cheerleader also means we have to accept there will be times where we need a “pick me up.” Being there for ourselves to pick up the pieces when we’re down, or when it seems things are falling apart, is a courageous thing to do. We should not rely on others to put our lives back together for us. Rather, we must learn how to comfort ourselves and regain the positive outlook that will keep us going in the right direction. Most importantly, when feeling down, we need to take the time to reaffirm our value and our worth by the use of positive self-talk and positive affirmations.

Finally, being our own cheerleader has the distinct ability to provide us with a sense of leadership, of control over ourselves. Learning to fulfill our own needs allows us to avoid a destructive dependency on others for our feelings of worthiness. Self-worth is a belief that comes from within, and nobody can give that to us or take it away. We must remember that no matter what our circumstances are, we always deserve a pat on the back. Go ahead, give yourself the praise you deserve!

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